Friday, January 22, 2010
scribbles of my neck pain.
It was December of 7 years back as i was sitting on the branches of my favorite tree,when i first tried to relieve myself of any heavy emotions, i was looking at the stars with amazement and sentiment, recalling how i once did it with someone else made me feel lonely,but realizing how much I've missed them loosened the feeling,I actually missed the sparkles in the sky, especially because the polluted city sky usually covers them from where i studied in High school,for the record, i rarely miss any event,to me, watching them sparkle was an event worthwhile, seeing them after such a long time made me feel near complete but it wasn't enough to compensate for the years I've lost, I treated every single night that I didn't see them as a loss and every miserable memory made me feel weaker at first until that weakness turned to anger and then hate, but whenever i would look up at the star filled sky, i somehow feel a little bit better, I always enjoyed gazing at nature it never bores me unlike most people of my age, the cool December winds pleased me more than a cool drink under a hot summer sun and the light from above made me sleepy, It took a few more nights before i realized that it was almost impossible for a person like me to ever let go of something that made me loose blood and sleep unless I resolved the problem with my fists, i then thought of how people drank and took drugs to help them forget and how some would even take their own lives, realizing how bad their ideas were, my perspective changed, I realized that all the miserable memoirs that haunt me are part of the past and doing something about them in the present would only keep me living the nightmare but i could never keep them in so i got myself a few hobbies, stargazing in my view, is better than any pain killer or drug, i've never taken any illegal drugs and drinking beer wouldn't help much either, why get drunk? I'm already seeing stars! :)