obsession with butchering.

Last Saturday at the anniversary of my uncle's wedding, I was tasked with the butchering of one our pet goats, I didn't just butcher him, I made three separate kinds of meals with his insides and meat, the goat was begging for his life and unlike the uncomplaining lamb, he caused such a racket he should have been in a rock concert. It didn't matter cause I killed him anyway, I am very pro-Animal but I had to do as I was Made to do.Although I felt reluctant to chop his head off, My uncle told me to hurry up so i closed my eyes and fired away, afterward I took his insides out and cleaned it's contents and used the juice to cook a Philippine delicacy known as papaitan, Its cooked by cleaning the stomach and cooking its juices with the intestines and blood, adding a little salt and garlic will do nicely after adding "siling pangsigang" (green chili) and some vinegar, it was a tasty meal but after cooking caldereta and adobo from his meat I felt so guilty I had to sit it out, maybe it was the cry of nature within me, filling me with guilt and a heavy conscience, then again, i must have been really tired and hungry.It was hard for me but then again, it wasn't the first time, i felt reluctant because it was the first time I've been given the chance in three years, recalling how many times I've done it in the past gave me back my sense of light joy and a good appetite. :)