I dreamnt of Canouman.

Fear is natural, if you ever find someone that isn't scared of anything they've either never discovered their fear or they have a personality/mental disorder.

Sitting beneath one of my favorite mango trees on a cold and breezy night during the rainy season of 2006, I took time to think and reflect on my past as the comforting and cool wind that continued to blow gently by , slowly made me sleep.
Before falling asleep, I looked at everything that the moon's light could reach.
Six mountains from mount Dalin, I took a glance that chilled every bone in my body.

Standing up I gazed at the mountain that claimed lives before mt. Pinatubo. I was Staring at the mountain of Spirits and demons, I was looking at Mt. Canouman , A tall and revered mountains where only strong and brave men go to, Many have gone to that mountain without coming back, Many of our village elders still mourn the lives of their children who go there, some say, other people who go there marry spirits of the earth and are unable to come back or age.

Mt. Canouman is constantly covered in fog, I have never seen it without fog but there are times when the fog is thin enough to see through. Being poor meant being more scared of hunger than spirits that were probably made up to prevent people from cutting trees down illegally.These days, The old trees at Canouman are still standing, no one ever dares cut them.

It was long ago when my Bapang Doru and apong Titoc along with six four men, climbed that mountain to gather "Bujo" (material used for making huts.) It was a ten hour walk from our place, there are no cars going to Canouman and taking a ride for part of the trip would only save you 20 minutes of the ten hour journey.

My mother's father wouldn't allow bapand doru to leave for the mountain because of fear, bapang doru escaped and travelled with apong titoc. They left at 2 in the morning and got back by 11 in the evening. My uncle came home shivering, scared and near traumatized.
The look on his face would never be repeated in his life, instead of scolding him, my apong Baroq (My mother's father) gave him water, allowed him to sleep and asked him about it the following day, the experience was punishment enough.

Out of the six men that went to canouman three made it home alive, two of bapang doru's companions took fruits from the lush trees and paid for it with their life, I was sad to find out that Bapang Boy died too, apparently, they said he shot a bird, upon shooting a bird, he dropped dead. It must have been really traumatizing for my uncle to walk ten hours with three corpses being dragged by their Carabaos.

Thinking of the mountain sent chills down my spine, and I dreamnt of climbing mt. peniel that I may see Canouman clearly again, Mount peniel is a few kilometers from mt. dalin, it is also called prayer mountain, lots of people go there to pray, specially the elders who believe their children will one day return from Canouman.
Thinking of how beautiful a mountain guarded by spirits was, I took a pile of mangoes, used it for a pillow and hoped i'd see the mountain in my dreams.